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Dear Still Water Friends,
In my experience, my heart grows when I can see the limitations of my
habitual responses and I begin looking for alternatives. In terms of
frustration, for example, I grew up sensing there were basically two
alternatives: I became angry and defended my space, or
I backed away, becoming passive (and often, passive aggressive).
In the
long run, neither approach was very successful. It is not how one builds
satisfying, mutually supportive relationships. If we grew up with only
the two poles of anger or passivity, if we are lucky, at some point, we
learn communications strategies which connect rather than divide, such
as mindful speech, non-violent communication, clarifying our
intentions, speaking from our heart, alternatives to violence training,
and so on.
I believe a similar dynamic exists with regard to how many of us
respond to suffering, at least with regard to the suffering we
can’t fix right away. Growing up I learned either to not notice
it, a form of denial, or, alternatively, to be overwhelmed, and
incapacitated by it. Again, in the long run, neither approach is very
satisfying. If those are my alternatives, I separate from myself and from the world.
Learning new strategies for relating to suffering has been at the core
of mindfulness practice from the time of the Buddha’s first
Dharma talk on the Four Noble Truths.
This Thursday evening, Oct 26, 2006, after our meditation period, we will practice the guided movement meditation, Invoking the Boddhisattvas’ Names,
and then focus our discussion on the Boddhisattva Kshitigarbha,
“Earth Store Boddhisattva,” the Boddhisattva who never
despises and never gives up. When we invoke Kshitigarbha, we read these words:
We invoke your name, Kshitigarbha.
We aspire to learn your way of being present where there is darkness,
suffering, oppression and despair, so we can bring light, hope, relief,
and liberation to those places. We are determined not to forget about
or abandon those in desperate situations. We will do our best to
establish contact with those who cannot find a way out of their
suffering, those whose cries for help, justice, equality, and human
rights are not being heard. We know that hell can be found in many
places on Earth. We will do our best not to contribute to creating more
hells on Earth, and to help transform the hells that already exist. We
will practice in order to realize the qualities of perseverance and
stability, so that, like the Earth, we can always be supportive and
faithful to those in need.
Our discussion will begin with the question, "When are you able, or not
able, to respond to suffering without closing down or being overwhelmed?"
Below are some excerpts on this topic from Thich Nhat Hanh, Ram Dass, and Joseph Goldstein.
Please join us this Thursday if you can.
Warm wishes,
Mitchell Ratner
Senior Teacher
Ram Dass on Compassion and Reactivity (From In the Footsteps of Gandhi: Conversations with
Spiritual Social Activists)
Most everybody is overwhelmed. And they respond with various
defense mechanisms. Denial, isolation, increased greed ("I'll get it
while I can"), righteousness ("It's their own fault"). There are a
whole set of mechanisms that people use to keep from being open,
because the quality of the human heart uncontrolled by the mind is that
it will give away everything.
It's the mind which is constantly
saying, "You can't afford; be careful; you'll lose too much." So the
suffering makes us increasingly afraid of our own compassion. It
increases our own fear that we will give away the store. We have to
find ways to exercise the compassion of our hearts, and at the same
moment learn how to know what the limits are and be able to say no
without guilt.
...
There are many levels of heart. And the human heart will break because
it empathizes. The deeper heart‑the hridayam [Heart in Sanskrit], the
jivatma [Individual soul in Sanskrit], or the hsin hsin in Chinese‑that
heart is the one that looks at the universe, just as it is, in a
non‑reactive way and says, "Ah so," "Yes." And it includes your own
human heart which is breaking, but your identity isn't only with your
human heart. Your identity is with a deeper, intuitive heart wisdom,
which is different. You don't deny the pain, but you don't get reactive
to it.
Joseph Goldstein from the Shambala Sun article, "Three means to peace."
If we want to enhance the
possibilities for more compassion and peace in the world‑and in
ourselves‑we need to look beneath our usual and, perhaps, instinctive
emotional responses. In situations of suffering, whether small
interpersonal conflicts or huge disasters of violence and destruction,
there is one question that holds the key to compassionate response: in
this situation of suffering, whatever it may be, what is our most
fundamental wish?
Thich Nhat Hanh From The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching
The
capacity to be happy is very precious. Someone who is able to be happy
even when confronted with difficulties has the capacity to offer light
and a sense of joy to herself and to those around her. When we are near
someone like this, we feel happy, also. Even when she enters hell, she
will lighten up hell with the sound of her laughter. There is a
bodhisattva named Kshitigarbha whose practice is to go into the places
of deepest suffering and bring light and laughter to others. If your
Sangha has one person like that, someone who can smile, be happy, and
have faith in all circumstances, it is a good Sangha.
Ask
yourself, "Am I like that?" At first glance, you might think not. You
might have an inferiority complex, which is the second kind of pride.
[The Three Kinds of Pride are: (1) thinking I am better than the
other(s); (2) thinking I am worse than the other(s); and (3) thinking I
am just as good as the other(s).] Please follow the advice of
Never-Despising Bodhisattva and look deeply into your store
consciousness to accept that the seed of happiness, the capacity to
love and to be happy, is there. Practice joy. You may think that
washing dishes is menial work, but when you roll up your sleeves, turn
on the water, and pour in the soap, you can be very happy. Washing the
dishes mindfully, you see how wonderful life is. Every moment is an
opportunity to water the seeds of happiness in yourself. If you develop
the capacity to be happy in any surroundings, you will be able to share
your happiness with others.
Otherwise you might think, This is
an unhappy situation. I must go somewhere else. And you'll go from
place to place wandering like the prodigal son. When you realize your
own capacity to be happy anyplace, you can put down roots in the
present moment. You can take whatever the conditions of the present
moment are and make them the foundation of your life and your
happiness. When the sun is shining, you are happy. When it is raining,
you are also happy. You don't need to go anywhere else. You don't need
to travel into the future or return to the past. Everything in the
present moment belongs to your true home. All the conditions for
happiness are here. You only have to touch the seeds of happiness that
are already in you.
When you enter a well-tended garden and see
a fresh, beautiful rose, you want to pick it. But to do so, you have to
touch some thorns. The rose is there, but the brambles are also there.
You have to find a way to understand the thorns so you can pick the
rose. Our practice is the same. Don't say that because there are thorns
you cannot be happy. Don't say that because there is still anger or
sadness in your heart, you cannot enjoy anything at all. You have to
know how to deal with your anger and sadness so you don't lose the
flowers of joy. It takes only a little skill to be able to pick the
flowers.