Dharma Topic: True Emptiness and Interbeing

This month, while visiting Plum Village, I listened to Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay) speak again about Emptiness and I was able to have a deeper insight than I have had in the past. When Thay spoke about being "empty of a separate self", I could see that I am made up of only non-Annie elements -- the cookies I ate last night, the sunshine that I absorbed this morning, the air that I breathed as I walked down my street, the imprints of my parents habit energies, etc. If I return each of these items to their sources -- return the cookie, return the sunshine, return the air, return the behaviors, etc., there is nothing left. I am completely empty.

Sister Chan Khong, whose name means True Emptiness, speaks of emptiness in her book, "Learning True Love":

It means nothing can exist by itself alone, that everything is inextricably interconnected with everything else. I know that I must always work to remember that I am empty of a separate self and full of the many wonders of this universe.

Thay also reminded us that because we are interconnected, we depend on each other in many complex ways. For example, we think we need to only take care of our own eyes. But if we don't help take care of the eyes of other drivers, we or our loved ones may be in a fatal car accident. If we don't help take care of our politicians' anger, many thousands of people, including ourselves, may suffer and be killed in a war.

Our needs and others' needs inter-are. If we take care of our own needs, we care for others, and if we take care of others' needs, we are in turn cared for. For years I have taken my children to retreats with Thay. It hasn't been easy having four little children on retreat! But by doing this, I nourished the seeds of understanding and love in my children, and as a result I have been nourished by their understanding. Many times when I have been stuck, one of my children will remind me of Thay's teachings and relieve my suffering. One example was when the attacks of September 11 happened and I was feeling very upset and angry. My son Chuck, who was only 8 years old, said to me, "Mom, you are Osama bin Laden, and Osama bin Laden is you." Another time, when my mother passed away suddenly, Chuck told me "Grandma is still right there with you, and she's saying 'My darling daughter, can't you see I am still here with you?'" By nourishing his understanding, I have been able to reap the fruit of his practice and feel less suffering and more clarity. We truly inter-are.

Does this ring true for you? How does interbeing work in your life? Where can we care for each other and therefore nourish ourselves as well? Where can we care more deeply for ourselves to nourish others? Do you ever get stuck, as I do, believing that you are a separate self disconnected from others, and feeling that your needs are in conflict with others' needs? Our Western/American conditioning to be fiercely independent is very strong!

One practice that we could consider as a Sangha is the "Second Body" practice, which is used at Plum Village. In this practice, each Sangha member pairs up with one another Sangha member and practices caring of his/her "second body" as if it were their own, which in a way it is. Is that something you would enjoy practicing? What else would most beautifully support your practice and our Sangha as a whole?

When we are in a Sangha [community], we are like a drop of water in a river. We allow the Sangha to hold us and transport us. Don’t be like a drop of oil in the river, not mixing with the other drops of water—that way you arrive nowhere. Allow yourself to be transported by the Sangha so that your pain, sorrow, and suffering are recognized and embraced. You have to trust the Sangha. Imagine you are a drop of water that would like to go to the ocean. If you go alone, you might evaporate, but if you allow yourself to be embraced and transported by the Sangha, then you will get there. You suffer only when you are a separate drop of water. Please remember this. --Thich Nhat Hanh