Dharma Topic: The Heart of Nonviolent Communication

Dharma Topic: The Heart of Nonviolent Communication

Discussion date: Thu, Apr 22, 2004 at our weekly Thursday evening practice

Dear Still Water Friends,


Justat the end of last week’s discussion on Mindfulness Practice and NonviolentCommunication, Lynda Martin-McCormick spoke about something she had learned atthe NVC retreat that had really touched her: That our deepest joy comes frombeing in communion – giving to another person as well as receiving.


WhileNVC can be seen and practiced as a gentle but insistent way of getting one’sown wants and needs meet, at it’s core it is much more than that. MarshallRosenberg explains:

The objective… is never to get what we want. It’s the development of a quality of connection that allows everyone’s needs to get met.


Think of needs as flowers on the table, not air in our lungs — beautiful offerings, not something desperately needed for survival. 

ThisThursday, April 22, David andLynda Martin-McCormick will help us explore the notion of giving andreceiving as the heart of NVC (and the bridge to interbeing). Whilethis topic arose from last weeks comments, it is a new Thursday and a newdiscussion. It is not necessary to have been there last week to fullyparticipate in this evening.


AMarshall Rosenberg inspired song, “Given to” is below.


Thisweek and next, from 6:30 to 7:20 pm, we will have our pre-session informaldiscussion on basic practices and mindfulness in daily life. Beginning onMay 6 we will return to having an orientation/pre-session only once a month, onthe first Thursday of each month.


Youare invited to join us this Thursday.





**************** Given to ************************


Inever feel more given to
than when you take from me —
when you understand the joy I feel
giving to you.
And you know my giving isn’t done
to put you in my debt,
but because I want to live the love
I feel for you.

To receive with grace
may be the greatest giving.
There’s no way I can separate
the two.
When you give to me,
I give you my receiving.
When you take from me, I feel so
given to.

Song “Given To” (1978) by Ruth Bebermeyerfrom the album, “Given To.”

Discussion Date: Thu, Apr 22, 2004


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